ridethenote asked you:
Kristen- How different is your stage persona from your personality in everyday life?

I’m mute in real life. Only the stage can make me talk. 

stefanreed asked you:
This is for Kristen. Will you please buy me a cheeseburger? Beyonce never responded.

Yeah as long as I can watch you eat it. And we can’t talk. Just locked eyes.  

jojotari asked you:
Kristen, if you don’t meet the traditional “Hollywood star” mold (as in short, obese, crippling stage freight, etc.), what could a person do to get noticed?

Well, what do you want to get noticed for? Whatever talent you have is even more special if it’s packaged uniquely. But you have to write and make your own stuff. 

Anonymous asked you:
Why do you keep telling people not to watch your special? What went wrong?

It was a disaster. Don’t make me relive it. 

boogstersu2 asked you:
Hey Kristen Schaal. Sorry to say this in front of CC’s followers, but are you a fan of My Little Pony? Because, for some reason, your character from Gravity Falls (Mabel Pines) reminds me of Pinkie Pie a lot. :)) ^^ (Also, you should consider wearing pink bunny ears all day long when you’re on stage! ;))

I’m a fan of the OLD SCHOOL My Little Pony. When they were simple. With just some apples painted on their butt in soft pastel colors. Like you find them in nature.

jessiehasfriends asked you:
For Kirsten Schaal: What is the most difficult part about becoming a comedian?

Writing the jokes. 

roofie-colada asked you:
Did you ever have a funeral for your caterpillar friend?

I did, thank you. Clarence is an angel now. 

alstoranotter asked you:
Kristen: would you ever consider screwing with someone’s head by talking only in the voice of a character you only do voice overs for, like Louise or Mabel?

I wouldn’t even have to consider it, since that’s my real voice. 

theapatheticwit asked you:
Dear Kristen Schaal, do you still have those sexual fantasies about George Washington or have you moved on to other historical figures? -Elizabeth

George Washington was my first crush. You never get over that. But I will say Thomas Edison has the power to turn A LOT of things on.  

Anonymous asked you:
What’s a Higgs Boson particle? Explain it so that even I can understand it.

Just read this wikipedia post I stayed up all night writing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higgs_boson 

iwannabefunny asked you:
a question for kristen: What made you get into voice acting for cartoons like Bob’s Burgers and Gravity Falls? and is it weird to go back and forth between an adult humor show and a kids show?

I always wanted to be a cartoon since I’ve been accused of being a living one. It’s not weird, since the characters are very different. It’s fun!

Anonymous asked you:
Does it creep you out when someone yells “I love you!” from within the crowd? If so, I’ll stop.

I don’t mind it. As long as it’s not interrupting an incredible punchline! 

Anonymous asked you:
Is that bunny ears tattoo on your arm real ???

That’s not mine! That’s a fan’s. 

Anonymous asked you:
How did you get to be so awesome?

Ahhh, that’s your opinion, and I like it! You’re awesome! 

Anonymous asked you:
Does Kristen have any tips for an aspiring comedian?

Get on stage and practice your set 3-4 times a week.  

- - -

Kristen Schaal is answering fan questions live right now! Submit them to our Ask box, then don’t miss the premiere of Kristen Schaal: Live at The Fillmore, Monday at midnight.