“As a hopeless romantic, I often write poetry to my many, beautiful lovers, of which I have many. What is your secret, I ask myself. After all, most people don’t know how to keep romance alive. They feed their relationships like a goldfish, leaving partners with only a few flakes of pillow dandruff to dust off onto the floor every morning. Feed your lover that way and you’ll be flushing them down the toilet within three months. Listen to me. Romance has four food groups: poetry, humor, spontaneity and genital touching. And just as you can’t eat one thing for days on end and expect to be healthy, romance is more than touching your lover’s genitals. It’s more than spontaneously touching your lover’s genitals. It’s more than laughing as you spontaneously touch your lover’s genitals. You have to give your lovers poetry too. That’s what preserves romance. That is what gives it taste and flavor. Poetry is the MSG of romance. It gives many people a headache, but not us. Not the real lovers of the world. Won’t you join me?”

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