Every once in a while, comedian and everyday hero Michael Ian Black goes through WitStream and picks the tweets that most delight his cold celebrity heart. Here are his most recent picks.

TJ Miller: Every so often when I want to have an argument I call the tow truck/locksmith when my convertible top is down.

Megan Amram: SCHINDLER’S LIST IS PEOPLE

John Mike Patrick: I’d be the world’s fastest cycler if the other riders were trying to tell me movie spoilers.

Abbi Crutchfield: Everything at my mom’s house has a trick to it.

Bridey Elliott: Excuse me. I need to use the restroom and someday I should work out my abs.

Sammy Rhodes: I hope these donuts were locally grown.

Danny Zuker: England continues to lead America in crazy squiggly white traffic lines painted on roads.  Olympics BikeRace

Jonas Polsky: How terrifying is life as Stephen King? He’s constantly held hostage by his own spine-chilling thoughts!

Mark Normand: Me and the girlfriend like to role-play. She plays the cop and I play the guy who can’t get an erection.

Guy Endore-Kaiser: Sometimes we are pretty creative as a nation, and then other times we name the giant white house, ‘The White House’.

Rex Huppke: The guys in my motorcycle gang hate it when I suggest we all go out for fro-yo. :(

Josh Gondelman: No matter how sensually I play this tuba, ladies still flock to my band’s lead singer.

Check back soon for more of Michael Ian Black’s professional Twitter opinion. You can also follow him on Twitter, and check him out on WitStream.